


Perfectto

by Nitonami



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitonami/pseuds/Nitonami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His thoughts slowly drifted back to Percy, like they did a lot of the time. No matter how far Nico tried to get his thoughts, they always ended up to where he wanted them the least; stalling over the shine in his stupid green eyes, focusing on the way his hair fell into his face when he was focused on fighting. The effortless way he was able to turn his body to avoid an attack...Gods, he was everything Nico wanted to be, everything Nico wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfectto

Perfetto. That’s the only word Nico can think of when he sees _him_. He’s everything Nico would want to be, and more. He’s strong, brilliant, handsome. Everyone looks up to him, gets along with him...Just the thought of Percy Jackson is enough to make Nico’s stomach churn. For more reasons than one.  
Being the son of the God of Death wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. People were wary of him, avoiding him if it could be done. It was almost as if they thought a single glance from him would send them into the very depths of Tartarus. The very idea sent a shiver down Nico’s spine, his mind flashing back to images he never wanted to relive. He had been there alone, he couldn’t hardly even remember how long he had been down there, and frankly...he didn’t want to dwell on it anymore.  
His thoughts slowly drifted back to Percy, like they did a lot of the time. No matter how far Nico tried to get his thoughts, they always ended up to where he wanted them the least; stalling over the shine in his stupid green eyes, focusing on the way his hair fell into his face when he was focused on fighting. The effortless way he was able to turn his body to avoid an attack...Gods, he was everything Nico wanted to be, everything Nico _wants_.  
Of course he can’t have him. The Fates were cruel, this Nico knew. Some part of him had hoped for a break. He had been through so much...But then again, hadn’t every demigod? Forced to run for their lives, fight, hope that they might live to see their 21st birthday. Nico wasn’t anything special. So what if he was the son of Hades? It didn’t make any difference. He was still at risk for dying, and he knew that he wouldn’t have any special treatment because of who his father was.  
Dying. It was almost laughable that there would be something that the son of Hades would fear, and it was even more-so that it was that which his father ruled over. But the idea of death...Nico didn’t like do think of it. His sister was gone. He couldn’t find her, bring her back and hear her happy laughter, teasing him for his obsession with a card game. She had chosen a new life, somewhere he didn’t know. He didn’t hate her for it. He could never hate her.  
It was almost like he could never hate Percy. He had promised him Bianca would return safely. He had brought back the news that she was dead. He had broken his promise. Nico hated him for that. But...Bianca told him otherwise. She had convinced him that he shouldn’t hold a grudge against Percy, and that was his fatal flaw. It had been much more than a grudge, though. Even when the feelings of hatred left...There were still feelings. Feelings that scared Nico di Angelo.  
Growing up in Venice, Italy, hadn’t been easy. Even less when he had to keep those- those feelings hidden. He had wondered often if he had done something wrong, something terrible to deserve this. Maybe he had, for all he knew. Maybe he had done something in a past life that came back around to kick him in the ass. Whatever it was, Nico knew something for sure; He was gay, and he was in love with Percy Jackson.  
Percy had Annabeth, though. He could see it whenever they were around. The kisses they shared when they didn’t think anyone was watching, their hands that seemed to almost be glued together. When they’d sit next to each other, Annabeth almost on his lap, whispering to each other with those stupid grins on their faces. It made Nico sick. Sick with jealously, heartache...He knew he couldn’t have Percy. He never could. So why should he care anymore?  
He pushed people away. Refused to surround himself with friends lest they turn around and stab him in the back, hate him for something that he was told he couldn’t control. By the Gods, he wished Bianca were there. He wanted someone he knew he could depend on. He couldn’t trust anyone, no matter how much he might wish he could. For Tartarus’ sake, he was the King of Ghosts. It only made sense that those he could keep close quarters to were the ones that didn’t have a heartbeat anymore.  
Slowly, Nico was brought out of his brooding thoughts. He heard people shuffling around on deck below, and he paused before he began his way down for a short nap. He had promised Hazel the previous day that he would get sleep, and maybe even something to eat. Obviously, neither of those had happened. Instead he had sat in the Crow’s Nest, dwelling on thoughts that he should know better than to think of.  
As he climbed down, he could hear the surprised sound of his half-sister’s voice as she realized that Nico had been up there- all night. He stood through her worried gushing, nodding when she told him that he needed to go right down those steps and find a room to sleep in before she made him herself. Nico barely nodded, but when she flashed a more worried look at his expression he forced a thin smile, probably more of a grimace, and moved to kiss her forehead, nodding more.  
“I will, Hazel. Don’t worry. I’ll be back up soon.”  
He was telling the truth- he was going to be back soon. He knew she would still worry, though. She always worried about him, something he was very aware of. At least now that he was heading into the ship, she could worry a little less. The King of Ghosts made his way carefully through the interior of the _Argo II_. He knew the passages pretty well even though he was hardly down in them, and it only took him a minute or so to get to the room he was heading for.  
Nico didn’t have his own room on the ship; that’s why he was forced to use someone else’s to rest when he did (which wasn’t that often). Hazel had offered him her room, but he had declined. He respected her privacy enough. He knew Frank wouldn’t want him near his room, and he was sure Jason would be a little freaked to have him bunking with him. Leo...well, he didn’t want to even know what Leo’s room was like.  
That left one last option; Percy’s room. Nico avoided resting for the fact that he didn’t want to use his room. He felt dirty, like he was snooping around when he only went in and laid down for a few hours of rest. It didn’t help that the bed still smelled like Percy, or that his clothing was still hanging out of half-open drawers. Everything was like it was before... Nico let out a quiet noise in the back of his throat before he turned and nearly slammed the door shut. A hand went to cover his mouth and now-running nose, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.  
 _Oh great, Nico. Look at you, crying over a boy like some love-struck teen girl. If the others saw you like this, they’d laugh._  
“Shut up...” Nico grumbled to himself, his voice hiccuping mid-sentence and oh by the Gods, he was not going to start crying. Of course, today didn’t seem like his day. In moments, the boy was stumbling to the bed, sitting on it and letting out blubbering, pitiful noises as he tried his best not to cry. The son of Hades did _not_ \- okay, he was crying. Pretty badly at that.  
He had failed Percy. If he had reacted a little quicker, or tried a little harder..oh Gods, why hadn’t he gone after them? At least with him, they might...No, as ashamed as he was to admit it now, he couldn’t go back there. He had barely come back in almost one piece before. He was shaking more, the whimpers and sobs forcing their ways out of his throat as he hugged himself, bending over and trying not to let his crying get too loud. The last thing Nico needed right now was Leo or Frank coming in and making fun of him.  
One hand clenched the sheets left on Percy’s bed, and Nico could barely think as he continued to cry.  
 _Mi spiace. Ti prendo di nuovo, giuro. Ti amo, Percy Jackson._


End file.
